


Bodyguard

by sanctuary_for_all



Series: Side By Side [1]
Category: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Feels, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-14
Updated: 2018-01-04
Packaged: 2019-02-02 00:05:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12715659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sanctuary_for_all/pseuds/sanctuary_for_all
Summary: If Mac had thought for five seconds, he would have known Jack’s story about being his bodyguard made no sense.There might be a reason Mac and Jack are so bad at letting go of each other.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The timeline on this story was a mess, so I've made a few tweaks that scooted this chapter up to approximately the same time period as the other ones. There are light references to various eps throughout (here it's 2X06 and 2X09) but it's all pretty self-explanatory in the text. ***Edit: Chapters have been edited to reflect their back story as stated in 2X12.

When Mac heard Jack’s voice coming out of Matty’s office, he slowed before he’d even consciously realized he’d done it. She was hardly ever in her office, preferring the control room where she could be closer to all the information coming in, which meant it was usually a bad sign when someone got called in and the door closed behind them.

Technically, Mac knew, it was none of his business. Except that the easiest way to punish Jack was to keep him out of the field, which meant Mac would be out there without him. If he knew what was going on there was a chance he could head it off at the pass, either by getting Jack to apologize for whatever Matty thought he’d done or convince Matty that whatever it was would never happen again.

And even if it wouldn’t keep him out of the field, whatever Jack was getting in trouble for was probably at least half Mac’s fault anyway. Jack had a habit of taking the blame himself if it meant protecting someone he cared about, and if Mac knew what was going on he could make sure he got at least his portion of the blame.

So, stepping carefully to the side so he wouldn’t block any light that might be leaking in through the door, he leaned against the wall so his ear would be close to the seam of the door and concentrated on the voices inside.

“…why you do it.” That was Matty, not angry but still unexpectedly serious. “But it’s a bad example to the younger members of the team. Bozer is just now getting agent training, and Riley hasn't had it at all.”

Mac frowned, wishing he'd heard more of the conversation. What was Jack getting blamed for? Because if it was the way they all charged into a situation, Jack was hardly the only one to blame for that. Mac himself was just as bad, if not worse, and there was nothing that could stop Riley when she was determined. Besides, that was the reason Bozer was _getting_ the agent training, wasn't it? So that he'd be safer when they charged in anyway? 

Inside, Jack clearly felt the same way. “If this is still about the Nigerian village, I feel the need to point out again that they made the decision to stay _entirely_ _on_ _their_ _own_ , because they saw the villagers needed help,” he argued. “Also, I'd like to remind you nothing like that has happened since.”

“Yeah, because Bozer's been away at training and Riley's either been in the van or with Cage for most of the missions,” Matty countered, an unexpected urgent note in her voice. “They still look to you as an example. Mac’s usually off doing his own thing, so on group missions they watch you to figure out where they should be.”  

Jack hesitated just a beat before responding. Mac wished, suddenly, he could see the expression on Jack’s face. “I want them safe just as much as you do, Matty.”

“But do they see _you_ being safe?” Matty’s tone suddenly developed an edge, and Mack realized this is where she’d been going from the beginning. “Do they see you making decisions that don’t needlessly risk your own life?”

Mac went still, thinking about Jack trying to get into the room full of nerve gas before Cage stopped him. And earlier, sitting in the truck next to him while he’d been making the last-minute adjustments to the impromptu rocket. At that point, there’d been nothing mission-related for Jack to do, and he could have just as easily been behind the break with Cage. He _should_ have been.

But he never was. He was always right next to Mac, even when all he could do was make sure they got blown up together instead of separately.

Because he was Mac’s bodyguard, he always said. Because that’s where a bodyguard was supposed to be.

In the office, Jack’s voice had developed its own edge. “It’s my job to protect them. If someone’s at risk, it should be me.”

“One, your job isn’t necessarily to protect anyone.” Matty had shifted to briskness, the boss they’d become familiar with during a mission. “Your job is to handle any shooting or fighting that might be necessary so the technical personnel can focus on the other aspects of the mission. The goal is the completion of the mission, and you know that as well as I do.”

Mac squeezed his eyes shut, shame and something he couldn’t quite put a name to surging through him. If he’d thought for five seconds, he’d have _known_ the bodyguard story made no sense. He didn’t even need one – he’d gotten combat training in the army, kept his skills up, and even though he didn’t carry a gun he passed every one of his field qualifications. Even in Afghanistan, it had only been Jack's job to provide cover while he was defusing IEDs. The mission was still the top priority.

But when Jack had said it, he’d just… bought it. Not only that, he’d been careful never to bring it up unless it was a conversation between the two of them. He hadn’t wanted anyone to make him realize how ridiculous the idea was, because… because….

Mac shook his head, angry at himself. It didn’t matter why. All that mattered was he had deliberately let Jack keep endangering himself when he didn’t need to.

Jack kept talking through all this, voice light enough to be a warning to anyone who knew him. “If I don’t keep the team alive, they can’t very well complete the mission, can they?”

“The _team_ , Jack. There are three other people that need you to stay alive, no matter what kind of danger Mac’s put himself in.” She sounded worried, almost, which was enough to make Mac’s stomach twist just a little tighter. “Tell me you do that. Look me in the eye, right now, and tell me that you don’t value Mac’s life more than other members of the team.”

“I don’t value Mac’s life more than other members of the team,” Jack said instantly, nothing but honesty in his voice. “And frankly, I’m a little insulted you’d ever think otherwise.”

Mac had just enough time to think that Matty had asked the wrong question before she realized her mistake and attempted to correct it. “Then tell me you don’t put yourself in needless danger just because Mac does. I know you think of yourselves as partners, but sometimes you’re needed elsewhere.”

Now there was a hesitation from Jack, and when he spoke again the words were just a little too careful. “I never put myself in needless danger, and I know my job.” Then he shifted, his tone changing to the light, joking one that was always far more deliberate than some people realized. “Seriously, Matty. It’s not my fault those two are hero types. Besides, you know as well as I do I’m more of the comic relief.”

Matty sighed, a wryness in her voice that suggested she’d just given up. “That only works if people actually find you funny, Jack.”

Mac pushed himself away from the closed door, feeling like there was a weight against his chest, and scrubbed his hands across his face. He had to get out of here before Jack realized he’d been listening.

And after that, he had to figure out a way to fix this. No matter how little he wanted to.


	2. Chapter 2

Days later, Mac still didn’t have an answer.

He'd told Jack he was trying to figure out the next move in the hunt for his father, but it was the question of how to save Jack from his better impulses that truly stumped him. He’d never had to figure out how to push someone away before, even if it was for their own good. People were usually happy to leave him, and he killed himself trying to figure out how to make them stay or find them again.

But Jack had stayed, and he was always, _always_ there when Mac needed him. It felt like the worst sort of betrayal to try and push him away after all that, but if something ever happened to Jack because Mac hadn’t kept him safe there was no—

Fingers snapped in front of his face. “Earth to Mac.”

Mac blinked, realizing only then that Bozer had been trying to say something to him. “Oh, sorry.” He looked up at Bozer’s expression, which was way too watchful for Mac’s peace of mind, then looked away again. “Working on an engineering problem.”

“See, I’d buy that, except I know for a fact that’s not your ‘I’m figuring out new ways to blow up the living room’ face. That’s your ‘I’m brooding in stoic silence because I keep forgetting Bozer can read me like a book’ face.” Bozer’s voice gentled. “Is it about your dad?”

“Yes,” Mac said immediately, looking back at Bozer with a hopeful expression. If it had worked with Jack....

“And the speed with which you answered that tells me it’s definitely not your dad.” Bozer’s brow lowered, as if realizing that something was seriously wrong. “Spill.”

Mac tensed, trying one last time to figure out a way to avoid this conversation, then he sighed and gave up. He wished he could blame Bozer's perceptiveness on the spy training he'd just finished, but at least where feelings were concerned he'd always been like that. “I keep dragging Jack into dangerous situations and I don’t know what to do about it.”

Bozer looked completely confused now. “Don’t you kind of both drag yourselves into dangerous situations?” he asked. “That seems like part of the job requirements when you’re doing the whole superspy thing.”

Mac sighed. He knew that, but it felt different when the danger was _his_ fault. “I know, but sometimes I’m in a more dangerous situation than everyone else is.” He couldn’t keep the strain out of his voice, and he was grateful no one else was around to overhear. “And Jack could be over with the rest of the team staying slightly safer, but he’s always right in the worst of it with me.”

There was a moment of silence, enough that Mac looked up to see an oddly solemn expression on Bozer’s face. “It might be a good idea to leave that one alone, Mac,” he said quietly.

That would be so much easier, but he couldn’t. Not when it was all his _fault_. “I can’t.” He dropped his face into his hands, knowing he had to let the entire story come out. “Jack kept telling me he was my bodyguard,” he muttered.

This time, the silence had incredulous feel. “Excuse me?”

Mac closed his eyes. “Jack always says that watching my back is his job, because he’s my bodyguard. It’s why he follows me whenever I run off to do something stupid, or why he won’t run for better cover when I’m about to set off a bomb.”

“ _Mac_.”

Mac sighed. “I know.”

“No, I mean seriously.” Bozer still sounded incredulous, as if he couldn’t quite wrap his head around the full scope of Mac’s idiocy. “Even if you didn’t already know this as an actual, professional spy, I have made you watch enough spy shows over the years you should have known for a fact that wasn’t how any of this worked.”

Mac groaned. “I _know_.”

“And you didn’t even question it?” Now there was actual concern in Bozer’s voice, which somehow made the whole thing even worse. “All those massive logic circuits in your head never tripped over the idea and went ‘Wait a minute, that makes no damn sense?’”

Mac dropped his hands, still not able to look Bozer in the eye. “I made sure they didn’t.” He swallowed, finally accepting just how intentional his part in all this had been. “And I was careful not to bring it up where anyone else could overhear, either, because I didn’t want anyone to realize Jack didn’t have to be that close to me all the time.” His throat went tight, a ragged pain in his chest. “But I’m going to get him _killed_.”

Bozer didn’t say anything for a moment, then he slowly walked over and sat down next to Mac on the couch. “You know, right after you got back from Afghanistan, I was kind of expecting an entirely different big announcement than the whole ‘I’m secretly a superspy’ thing.”

Surprised by the comment, Mac looked over at Bozer. “What?”

Bozer shrugged a little, expression gentle. “After your training officer died, I knew you were in a pretty dark place. You never said anything about it, but your e-mails got really short and abrupt like there was a bunch of stuff you didn’t want to tell me.” When Mac winced – he should clearly just give up on ever trying to hide emotional stuff from his oldest friend – Bozer patted his knee. “I was relieved as hell when they started getting longer again, and you’d sometimes mention things like the coffee warmer you accidentally invented during breakfast or something. But I also noticed that was right around the same time the name Jack started cropping up in your e-mails. Even when you tried to pretend he was driving you crazy, you always sounded the most like yourself when you talked about him.”

Mac tensed, suddenly realizing where Bozer was going with this.

Bozer continued, completely aware of Mac’s sudden tension. “So I thought ‘Hey, new Army buddy. That’s great.’” He gave Mac a pointed look. “Kind of a surprise, though, when you actually brought the dude home.”

“That’s not….” Mac swallowed, remembering meeting Jack’s plane when he’d first come out to California. He’d felt so _happy_ , like all the best Christmases of his life had all been happening at the same moment. It had been incredibly hard, not being able to see Jack every day. “It wasn’t like that.”

Bozer gave him a pointed look. “It was _exactly_ like that. Jack might as well have been a big dumb golden retriever who didn’t have his tags.” Then he smiled. “Which was cool. Anyone who can make you smile like Jack does is instantly in my good graces. But it kind of threw me a little at first, because you don’t _do_ that. Even I had to come up to you and basically say ‘You should be my friend.’ You don’t usually look at people and go ‘That one’s mine.’”

 _That one’s mine._ The words struck a chord with the nameless feeling inside his chest, a sudden clarity of vision that was like every moment of intellectual insight he’d ever had. He was absolutely, utterly certain it was true, no matter how unhappy the realization made him.

Because Jack _wasn’t_ his, no matter how much Mac might want him to be. He was noble, self-sacrificial and a really, _really_ good friend, and Mac would be making the biggest mistake of his life if he let himself start imagining that Jack saw it as anything else. “I invited the rest of the team to the house.”

Bozer gave him another pointed look. “Half the time it’s me or Jack doing the inviting, but I will concede that you contribute to the process.” Then his expression gentled again, enough understanding on his face to make Mac’s chest hurt even worse. “But even then it’s like ‘Hey, come be part of the family.’ You know how much it sucks to be alone, and you don’t want anyone else to have to feel that. But Jack’s the one you _need_ to have there. Has been since the first time he showed up at the house.”

Now the guilt hit. “Bozer, you know I—”

Bozer gave him a cocky smile. “Don’t worry. My supreme confidence in your love for me remains entirely unabated.” He put an arm around Mac’s shoulders, tugging him into a sideways hug. “We’re brothers. We always will be. But brothers have spaces in their togetherness, because they know they’re gonna go off and have their own lives.” He hesitated, expression gentling even more. “Maybe fall in love with someone they always want to be within arm’s reach of.”

Mac squeezed his eyes shut, dropping his face back into his hands. “This is the stupidest thing I’ve ever done.”

Bozer rubbed his back sympathetically. “Yeah, love’s like that.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Spoilers for 2x9 and 2x11.)

Jack hadn't expected to spend the rest of his Christmas in a hospital waiting room, but after Mac had gotten the call from Cage this was actually the best-case scenario. They'd already poured over her apartment, but Murdoch was too damn good at not leaving evidence. The rest of the team was out chasing other leads, but Mac had insisted on coming to the hospital to be there for Cage.

"She was there for me when I got poisoned," he'd said, that too-serious look on his face he sometimes got. "I should be there for her."

Jack agreed with the sentiment, so he bit his tongue against pointing out that Cage had been there for exactly a half hour of Mac's time in the hospital. She'd had to take over because Jack had literally been kicked out for bugging the doctors too much about potential long-term effects for Mac. Cage had gently suggested he find a new direction to redirect his anxiety, which was when he'd decided to stalk Riley's dad. There, at least, there'd been the potential to punch someone.

Besides, he'd learned by now not to say things like that out loud. He was still amazed with how much Mac let him get away with – probably because he thought it was "helicopter parenting," which was so embarrassingly far from the truth it was best not to discuss it - but he tried hard to limit it to moments when Mac's life and/or peace of mind were at stake. That way, he could pretend that Mac was the most important person in the universe for purely professional reasons.

It was the only way he could tell himself it was okay that he'd built a pretty big chunk of his world around an oblivious genius nearly half his age. Mac was his best friend, his partner, the only reason he wasn't in Texas right now, and other things he was damn sure not to think about it too closely. As long as he could keep it all locked away, he was fine.

Mac, thankfully unaware of all of this, straightened in his chair and scrubbed his hands across his face. "Jack," he said finally, sounding exhausted. "I need to talk to you about something."

Jack stayed slumped against the seat, but every shred of his awareness was suddenly on high alert. Mac had been off for days now, and even though he'd said it was about his dad Jack was sure there was more to it. Since it was such sensitive ground, though, he couldn't actually find out what it was until Mac finally _talked_ to him about it.

When Mac let out a breath, however, it wasn't his "I hate talking about feelings" face. It was his "I'm about to tell you something you really don't want to hear" face, and Jack tensed before he'd even opened his mouth. "I want you to watch out for Cage when we're on missions," Mac said finally. "Clearly, Murdoch isn't interested in playing with her, the same way he is with me. He just wants her dead."

Jack didn't respond for a moment, studying Mac's expression. There was something more going on here. "I watch out for all of you, you know that."

Now he got the stubborn look. "No, I want you to watch out for her the _most_." Then his expression faltered, as if he didn't want to say this part. "The way you watch out for me now."

Jack's chest clenched when he realized what Mac meant. Damn it, he'd been caught. "Mac...."

His jaw set. "I'm serious, Jack."

Jack straightened, all pretense of casualness replaced by urgency as he leaned forward. "She's a professional, Mac. When she's got her vest on and a gun in her hand, she can take care of herself."

"Doesn't mean she can't use the backup," Mac said stubbornly. "You're paid to worry about more people than just me."

Jack felt faintly nauseous. "Listen, I worry about everybody for free. But you know I'm your—"

Mac looked suddenly sad, which was a thousand times worse than anything that had happened before. "You're not, though. Not really," he said quietly, making Jack's chest ache. "You know that as well as I do." He sighed. "You weren't even really my bodyguard in Afghanistan."

He'd known this was going to happen one day. Mac wasn't all that experienced with people, but he was too smart to believe the bodyguard story forever.

Despite all that, Jack's throat felt raw as he argued to hold onto his place just a little bit longer. "Doesn't mean you don't need one, though. I've never met anyone who tries to get themselves blown up as often as you do."

Mac looked away. "And that's my choice." His voice was flat. "Doesn't mean you have to be right next to me when it happens."

Jack swallowed. That was the entire _point_ , though there was no way he could admit that. If Mac had to die for the greater good, then there was no chance Jack was going to let himself get left behind. "So your plan is to get yourself blown up without me, huh?"

Mac's jaw tightened again. "It's not my _plan_ to get myself blown up, but if I do then yes - I hope I'm entirely on my own when it happens."

There was nothing but pure certainty in his voice. Jack knew for a fact that it would have hurt less if Mac had punched him in the stomach. "You really want me to stay away from you that badly, huh?"

Something that looked a hell of a lot like pain flashed across Mac's face, but compassion wasn't much of a comfort at the moment. "No! It's just..." he hesitated, like he was struggling to find the words, then closed his eyes. "It's time, Jack. You've got to start taking care of yourself."

Jack didn't point out that he couldn't do that anymore, because the person he needed most no longer wanted him around. So instead of saying anything, he closed his own eyes and leaned back so that his head was touching the wall.

After that, they waited for the doctor in silence.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now that I know it was all leading to this, I feel much better about the whole thing now.

Once the doctor came out to tell them Cage had made it out of surgery okay, Jack went home. Mac didn't need him for the rest of it ( _didn't need him for anything_ , the voice inside his head whispered) and sleep was the only end he could think of for a day as shitty as this one had been. Once again, Christmas had proven to be a hell of a lot less than greeting card companies made it out to be.

When someone pounded on his door at two in the morning, waking him from a restless sleep, he wasn't even surprised. He dragged his jeans back on over his boxers, hoping that it was Riley and Bozer with a lead on Murdoc. It was the one good option he could think of out of a dozen bad ones, and it would be nice if the universe could give him at least that much. Riley had tried to call him at some point, and if something bad was happening he hoped she would have at least left a message.

When he opened the door, however, it was Mac waiting on the other side. He had the same expression he usually got when he was trying to stop something from exploding, eyes a little wild, and Jack's chest seized up painfully before he boxed it away. This had to be about work, because that was the only—

"I explained it wrong," Mac announced, not meeting Jack's eyes as he pushed past him and into the apartment. "I knew that even as the words were coming out of my mouth, but when you left I realized just how badly I'd screwed it up. I know this should wait until later this morning, but I can't sleep until I've fixed this."

Jack shut the door, regretting everything he’d thought before a thousand times over. He’d rather someone was holding a gun on him right this very _second_ than have the conversation he was about to have. “No matter how nice the delivery is, it won’t change what you’re saying.” His voice was rough, and he hoped like hell Mac thought it was from lack of sleep. “You made yourself pretty clear, earlier.”

Frustration crossed Mac’s face, along with a sharp edge of anxiety Jack didn’t understand the reason for. “But I _didn’t_!” Mac moved forward, then stopped suddenly like he’d hit some invisible boundary. “Because you think I want you to stay away from me, when what I was really doing was trying to keep you _safer_!”

The statement was baffling enough that it actually threw Jack for a second. “I’m not the person who needs to be kept safe. It’s my job to keep _you_ —“ he winced inwardly, catching himself a beat too late “— _all_ of you safe. Do you not understand what it is the Phoenix Foundation is paying me for?”

Mac set his jaw. “I _know_ that, but _you_ know that I’m an extra level of danger.” There was something still wild in his eyes that Jack couldn’t get a read on. “I’m the one who blows up things, and accidentally poisons myself with nerve gas, and hangs off the side of vehicles moving at top speed in order to pull some engineering move with a paperclip and someone’s chewed gum. Generally, when that happens, Bozer, Riley and even Cage are off to the side doing something at least slightly less dangerous, but you’re always right next to me. If something ever goes wrong with one of my plans, they probably won’t be caught up in it. But you _will_.”

Jack’s chest caught. Damn it, this was the best possible reason Mac could have for breaking his heart. Mac always cared so much about people that it made a weird sort of sense that this would be something he’d suddenly worry about.

The problem was, he couldn’t exactly explain to Mac that surviving him was the last thing in the world Jack wanted to do.

“You need someone there, to make sure no one shoots you while you’re pulling off whatever genius move you’re in the middle of,” he said instead, voice gentle. “And I’m sorry, but there’s no way in hell I’m leaving that job to anyone else.”

Mac, though, wasn’t about to be dissuaded that easily. “What about when no one’s shooting at me?” he shot back. “If you’d made it into that room with the nerve gas, all you would have managed to do was die with me.” 

That… was harder to justify, at least without being a hell of a lot more honest than Mac wanted him to be. Maybe if he figured out what started all this, though, he could nip it in the bud without confessing everything. “Why is this suddenly coming up now? We’ve been working together for _years_ , Mac, and I’ve been like this pretty much the entire damn time. What made you suddenly decide that it was a bad idea?”

That seemed to throw Mac a little. He floundered for a second, almost vibrating with the emotion Jack still couldn’t quite read, and then suddenly he exploded. “Because it’s my fault you’re always right next to me!” He threw his hands up in the air, something that looked way too damn close to grief flooding his expression. “I should have seen through the bodyguard story right away, but I didn’t let myself. I endangered your life, over and over again, just because I was being _selfish_.”

Now it was Jack’s turn to falter, finally realizing that he was missing something important in the middle of all this. “How, exactly, was that being selfish?” he asked carefully.

Mac’s shoulders dropped, the grief softening to sadness. “You’re not mine, Jack, and I _know_ that. But I wanted….” He made a frustrated noise, scrubbing his hands across his face “Everything is so much easier with you, so much _better_. I _think_ better when you’re there, even when you’re babbling about something, because I know I need to make sure you survive whatever I’m about to do.” Then he looked up, meeting Jack’s eyes with a pleading look. “But one of these days my plan isn’t going to work, no matter how smart or careful I am, and when it does my selfishness is going to get you _killed_.”

Jack had stopped breathing at some point, but it was only when Mac stopped talking that he realized it and forced himself to inhale. “Who says?”

Mac narrowed his eyes in familiar exasperation. “The law of probability, Jack. You know that as well as I do.”

He swallowed, voice hoarse. “No.” His heart was pounding harder than it ever did when they were out in the field, his entire future dependent on what happened in the next minute or so. “Who says I’m not yours?”

Mac froze, pure shock chasing everything off his face as he stared at Jack. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, like he was trying to make himself form words, but it was clear Jack had blown all his circuits.

It was Jack who broke the silence, the words he’d held back for so long finally spilling out of him. “Why do you think I came up with the bodyguard story in the first place? Once we got out of the Army, it was the only excuse I could think of that let me stick as close to you as I wanted to.” He let out a breath, chest aching worse than any bruise. “When you’re prepared to follow a kid almost half your age to the ends of the earth, people tend to need a better reason than being with him feels like sunlight after you’ve been in the dark your whole damn life.”

Mac was still staring at him, a wide, lost look like the world had suddenly transformed into something else while he wasn’t looking, and something too close to fear twisted Jack’s stomach. He couldn’t imagine what was behind that look, but he had a terrible feeling it wouldn’t be a good thing for him.

So he went back to the door, opening it and stepping aside. “But we don’t have to worry about that right now,” he said quickly, sweeping an arm forward and offering Mac the escape he so clearly needed. “Or possibly ever. You should go home and get some sleep, because we’ve had a hell of a day, and stop worrying about whether or not you’re going to get me killed. If you’re dead, there’s no way in hell I still want to be here.”

That, somehow, was enough to finally chase the shock from Mac’s face, replacing it with a determined look that terrified Jack. He’d want to _talk_ about this, to try and logic it away, and Jack absolutely could not handle that right now without doing something unforgiveable like crying. He’d assess the damage he’d caused tomorrow, and try to start putting it back together then.

Mac, however, clearly wasn’t in support of that plan. He strode forward, taking a firm grip on the door and pushing it shut again. Then he turned around to face Jack, hesitating for just a second, and Jack braced himself for the last words he wanted to hear.

So it was a surprise when Mac didn't say anything at all. Instead he leaned forward, took Jack's face in his hands, and kissed him.

It was like those dreams of flying Jack had as a kid, the world rushing past him at a dizzying, delightful spin and carrying him away along with it. His brain reeled, not at all prepared for the miracle that had landed in his lap, but thankfully his body had always been smarter and held onto Mac like his life depended on it. He opened to let Mac in, the kiss softening and deepening into something that took Jack completely apart and put him back together again. Made him better, cleaner, more worthy of someone like Angus MacGyver.

When they broke apart, Mac's grin was like the sun breaking through the clouds. "I'm 27," he argued, happiness shining in his voice. “That’s not almost half your age.”

 “It’s close enough.” Jack was almost dizzy, happiness and gratitude and shock flooding his system like a drug. He touched Mac’s face, realizing only when he moved his hand that he was shaking a little. “Mac….”

Mac’s expression softened. “I’m yours, too,” he said quietly, voice thick with emotion. “When you lose people early, you try really hard not to need anyone because you know they could disappear at any moment. You care about them, and enjoy being with them, but there’s always a part of yourself you hold back in preparation for the day they suddenly aren’t there anymore. You, though…” He let out a breath, thumb stroking softly over Jack’s cheek. “You’ve got all of me. You have for a long time.”

The only acceptable way to respond to that was to kiss Mac again, pulling him close enough to eliminate that last little bit of space between them. They melted into each other, gentle and slow, and Jack felt like he could do this for a thousand years and never, ever get tired of it.

When they broke apart again, Jack leaned his forehead against Mac’s.  “I take back every bad thing I’ve ever said about Christmas.”

Mac slid his fingers through Jack’s hair. “Technically, since it’s after midnight, it’s not Christmas anymore.”

Jack grinned, letting himself nuzzle Mac’s cheek. In all his life, he didn’t think he’d ever been this happy. “Hey, you’re finally winning the argument here – let it happen.”

“You’re right,” Mac murmured, leaning close for another kiss. “I don’t know what I was thinking.”

**Author's Note:**

> Come check out my [original fiction,](https://jennifferwardell.wixsite.com/mybooks) my [blog,](http://jennifferwardell.blogspot.com) or say hi to me on [Tumblr](http://sanctuaryforalluniverses.tumblr.com)!


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